Was Going To..

.. finish editing my Graduation post, but I'll have to do that later.  I've hit a nerve in myself that I wouldn't think I would get to so lately ive been feeling too many emotions that range from depression to anger to jealousy. It sucks.  I feel the need to write about it, but right now I just dont know how to express myself.

I might have to do this privately but I just wanted to announce this to the world just as a first step of realization that these emotions are there.  And I say that because I'm not usually one to speak out about this kind of stuff.  I usually bottle it in or shrug it off. but I guess I finally hit a nerve..

Frustrated...

I'm frustrated with everything.  And now it's starting to affect my appetite.  In the last 3 days I've barely eaten.  I'm hungry, yet I have no appetite.  This is starting to sound familiar, which I won't get into right now (maybe sometime in the future), but it's for a different reason.  I want to eat, I really do, but all this stress is just making me lose my appetite.  This is such an opposite effect from last semester where I ate a lot before tests, but this semester its the total opposite and I think it's also because of the lack of sleep.  All this stress is also giving me rashes which I've never had before.  I'm getting them on my stomach and my arms.  I really need some sort of support structure right now.  I don't get a chance to talk to my closest friends often anymore, I barely see family and I'm always holed up now trying to study or get work done.  I dunno.. I just hope to get through this semester....

It's Complicated...

... to explain this.  I feel depressed lately which I usually don't get and it's been getting worse lately.  I don't know what it is and it's hard to explain, if I have to, since I don't speak fairly much about my feelings or about myself for that matter.

I don't know if its all the stress, which I'm sure it is, but I just want everything to get better soon.  I really do need a break but even with Spring Break coming up in 2 weeks, it's not coming fast enough.  I don't think anyone understands how hard I'm working right now.  Yeah it seems that all I do at home is go on social networks and just laze around, but really I'm trying really hard to balance school and work at the same time.  I do try to make the effort to study and I do have work to be done for classes, but I don't think anyone understands how hard it is.  It's my last semester, but people just don't seem to care to leave me alone.  What's with the constant noise? What's with asking me to do something for you when you know I'm busy?  Why is it that when I really am doing something you'll come up to me when it's something not that important

I'm usually a calm person.  But everything is building up inside of me right now and I feel like I'm going to go crazy.  I'm so stressed, I'm tired, depressed and have a little anxiety and all this makes me want to cry.  I don't normally get these kinds of feelings since I'm always happy-go-lucky and laughing away at stuff but ... I don't know.  There's just some things going around in my head lately which isn't normal and I don't know what it'll take for it to go away.  Taking one day at a time.. we'll see how I feel in the morning.  Sleeping earlier than usual.  Not sure if It's a good decision since I still have to work on a lab report, but I just can't take it right now.